The Definition of Success in Rick Perry’s World

There is an ancient Persian saying:

“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.”

With Rick Perry as the Governor of Texas, Texans have learned to appreciate the little things in life…like having feet. In Rick Perry’s Texas having feet is a real success story. Never forget that education, and sex education are each insignificant when you compare them to the importance of appendages.

EDUCATION

Texans shouldn’t think of education as embarrassing, even though:

1. Only 78.3 percent of Texans 25 years of age and older had a high school diploma in 2004.

2. Texas is #49 in verbal SAT scores in the nation (493) and #46 in average math SAT scores (502).

3. Texas is #36 in the nation in high school graduation rates (68%).

4. Texas is #33 in the nation in teacher salaries. Teacher salaries in Texas are not keeping pace with the national average. The gains realized from the last state-funded across-the-board pay raise authorized in 1999, which moved the ranking from 33 to as high as 26th in the nation, have disappeared over the last five years.

5. Texas was the only state in the nation to cut average per pupil expenditures in fiscal year 2005, resulting in a ranking of #40 nationally.

6. Texas is #6 in the nation in student growth. The general student population in Texas public schools grew by 11.1% between school years 1999 and 2005, with the largest percent of growth seen among low income and minority children.

7. Between school years 1999 and 2005, the number of central administrators employed by Texas public schools grew by 32.5%, overall staffing in public schools grew by 15.6%, while the number of teachers grew only 13.3%.

8. From fiscal years 2002 to 2006, average tuition and fees at public universities increased 61.4%. Average tuition and fees at community colleges increased 51.3%.

9. From fiscal years 2002 to 2007, the Texas state budget was cut in terms of real dollar, per-student funding for universities by 19.92%; for community colleges the per-student cut was 35.29%.

10. California has nine nationally recognized research institutions; New York has seven; Pennsylvania has four; while Texas, the second most populous state in the nation, has only three.

11. Out of Texas’ 145 public and private higher education institutions, only one private institution, Rice University, ranked among the nation’s top 50.

Consider the positives. Texas has an education system. Texas has some kick-ass football players. Rick Perry is running for President of the United States, and if elected he wouldn’t be the Governor of Texas any longer.

ABSTINENCE EDUCATION

Texans shouldn’t focus on the total failure of its abstinence education.

1. Texas spent a nation-high $17 million last year for abstinence education programs.

2. Federal statistics in June showed that 52.9 percent of Texas students in ninth through 12th grades had sexual intercourse, compared with 47.8 nationally.

3. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also reported that Texas youths are less likely to use condoms.

4. Instruction to high school students in Texas about condoms are couched in terms of how often they fail, according to state law.

5. The federal government has spent $1.1 billion on funding for abstinence programs since 1982.

6. Texas has the third highest teen birth rate in the nation — 50% higher than the national average. Texas taxpayers spent $1 billion on teenage pregnancies and an estimated $15.1 billion over a 13-year period, according to a 2004 study by the National Campaign To Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Rick Perry says abstinence works.

What Rick Perry forgot to say was that the success rate of abstinence instruction in Texas has had a 100% success rate among teens missing appendages. Think of what this could mean for the entire country if Rick Perry is elected President.

Rick Perry is certainly an example of the importance of education and abstinence in Texas.  He is the living embodiment of the importance of education, and abstinence. If he were educated, or his parents had practiced abstinence….

Texas A&M would have been one yell-leader short, and Texas would be one coyote richer.