Grandma Palin’s Lack of Parenting Teaches a Valuable Lesson

A quiet hush filled the oral surgeon’s waiting room. Three mothers and one teenage girl sat quietly trying to anticipate what the next few minutes would hold. One mother expected her daughter to emerge from recovery in a wheelchair ready to go home. Her beautiful daughter had ice packs wrapped around her jaw with a white strip of gauze that encircled her head.

Another mother sat with her 17 year old daughter next to her, gently stroking her hair. Both mother and daughter knew that the procedure was necessary, but frightening. I sat alone. My daughter was under the knife. The surgeon was one of the best in Dallas. Three dentists had confirmed that this was the right time to have her wisdom teeth removed. Having had two older kids experience this trauma, I knew as much as most mothers about planning for the event. I knew the right doctor. I knew what medication would be prescribed and it was at home waiting for my daughter’s arrival. I knew that popsicles, pudding, matza ball soup, and oatmeal were each in the kitchen anticipating their importance in the next two days of the patient’s life. Matching bags of frozen peas and corn would soon serve as the perfect remedy for the swollen cheeks that would inevitably result. Only experienced parents know that bags of small frozen vegetables mold better to the patient’s jaws than those larger pieces of ice that predictably melt and leak out of the zip lock baggie . Only really experienced parents appreciate the importance of having four bags so that two can be freezing while the other two are providing the intended relief.

Putting things in perspective, having wisdom teeth removed is fairly inconsequential. It’s not usually a life threatening event. Within a couple of days most teenagers return to their normal lives of being rebellious, defiant, self-absorbed kids who think they are God’s gift to the planet. Most days teenagers wonder what they did to justify having to share living quarters with the older simple-minded creatins. Being home with parents might be considered purgatory for most teens. Yet, when psychological or physical trauma inevitably become a part of that child’s life, parents become essential. Even as adults, when we are faced with a disabling illness, a broken bone, or just the flu, we yearn for mom’s caress, her back rub, her chicken soup, and the empathetic companionship of somebody who cares that we are feeling so bad. Parents can hire a baby-sitter, a nanny, a nurse, and a cook to perform each of the tasks necessary for the physical well being of their children. Yet the soup of a professional chef doesn’t taste quite as good as that made with love, by mom. The most perfect dressing applied by a nurse is never as soothing as the kiss mom gave after some Neosporin and a store-bought band-aid.

One hundred years ago 99% of babies in orphanages in the United States died before they were 7 months old.Unwanted babies were deposited in orphanages where they received the nutrition and shelter that was perceived to be necessary to sustain life. But the babies died. It wasn’t infection, disease, or malnutrition that resulted in their demise. It was the lack of human touch. Now, a century later, we understand how to keep our children alive, but many kids still suffer. The sense of abandonment they feel is not the result of the lack of food or a roof over their head. It is the sense that something is more important to their parents than caring for them.

Sarah Palin seemed to understand the importance of “being there” in her book, America by Heart.

If you are one of the unlucky few who survived the arduous experience of reading this book, you know she said:

“ More important, it turns out that it’s the quantity (italics are hers) we spend – not the quality (Italics are hers) – that is best for our kids. Busy parents like to comfort themselves that they can make up for not being there by occasional bursts of special activities. But you can’t just plan on being a good parent; you have to earn it. Journalist and Weekly Standard editor Fred Barnes put it well:

Forget quality time. You can’t plan magic moments or bonding with epiphanies in dealing with kids. What matters is quantity time. Judging from my own experience – four kids- children crave prolonged attention, preferably undivided. They want whole days and nights of it…Woody Allen may be a lousy father, but his rule for life applies to being a father. Yep, 90% of fatherhood is just showing up.”

As Sarah and Todd were eating corny dogs and fried butter at the Iowa State Fair, a reporter asked if they were moving to Arizona. Todd answered with a succinct “no” and emphasized his point by explaining that “Piper starts school in a couple days,” (suggesting that of course she’d be in school in Alaska).It was like Deja-Vu all over again! How many times have we seen Sarah, hunting, giving speeches, or campaigning, with Todd, but without her children? Do you remember when they abandoned Trig after his surgery?  Track lived in Michigan in high school with neither parent. He wasn’t training to play hockey in the Olympics, or in the NHL. In high school, Bristol was living in Anchorage with neither parent. She wasn’t training for anything … except maybe  to be a camper. Willow is old enough to be in her senior year in high school, but it appears that she has dropped out. The explanation of Sarah and Todd is that she is being “home schooled”, but it appears the only people at home are Piper and Trig. Piper made headlines when she demonstrated her disdain for reporters who interfered with what she thought was to be her “family vacation.”  When Trig was a baby, the public saw a lot of him. Now that he has served his purpose, Sarah seems to leave him home most of the time.

Being a good parent is not a prerequisite to being a politician. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jon Edwards are living proof of that. Many politicians fail to spend any significant amount of time with their children. So what is it about Sarah Palin’s utter failure as a parent that is so offensive?

How we treat our children tells so much about a person. We learn about an adult’s values and motivations by the way they treat this kids. If a parent compromises their job for the sake of their children, we might consider them unselfish. Conversely if they use their children for political purposes then we identify the worst kind of selfish behavior. If a parent chooses to give birth to a special needs child, but then fails to meet their special needs, we are offended. If a parent fails to emphasize the importance of education with their kids, then we can anticipate that education would not be a priority when determining programs to cut. If the oldest two children don’t practice abstinence, but the parent continues to advocate abstinence only education, the hypocrisy is obvious. When parents insist that their children ride in car seats and wear seat belts, most people understand that these are standard precautions that any responsible adult would take to protect that which they love most in the world. If Sarah Palin allows her children to ride without car seats and seat belts, we recognize her as either not capable of acting responsibly or not loving her children, or both. By raising her children to become dependant and uneducated we could anticipate that Grandma Palin wouldn’t hold any young person in America to a higher standard.

John F. Kennedy said:

“Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.”

Sarah Palin has repeatedly demonstrated her lack of concern for this, our most precious resource. The abandonment and exploitation of her children gives each of them little hope for their future. If Sarah Palin were ever to become the President of the United States, there would be little hope for the future of the children of our entire nation.