That Dog Don’t Hunt

For the last two years we have been inundated with the notion that anything Beautiful Sarah (hereinafter B.S.) said was divinely inspired. B.S. said, “I would never presume to know God’s will or to speak God’s words.” To the contrary, not only does she know what God is thinking, but she can reduce his thoughts to written form.  She had the audacity to write a letter to herself, in God’s voice, knowing what he would tell her if he could.  Of course she didn’t write the letter for herself, as she already knew what God was thinking.  The purpose of the letter was to tell other people what God was thinking (Palin 187). God talks to Sarah Palin.  It is his purpose that “calls” to her (103). God is also a constant source of explanation for anything for which Palin doesn’t want to accept responsibility.  When she does something foolish, like writing on her hand, she justifies it by comparing herself to God.  Promising to lead the nation with a “servant’s heart” B.S. suggests that she is holy, and part of God’s plan.  In church she has led her congregation in prayer for holy things, including a natural gas pipeline, and to make sure that the war in Iraq was a “task from God”.

The Holy Spirit actually speaks to her. If you can’t hear God or the Holy Spirit, you must not be as holy as B.S.   Certainly someone so tight with God and the Holy Spirit should be a beacon for truthfulness and virtue.  Obviously B.S. reveres herself as virtuous, as that is the subject of her new book, America by Heart.  However the truth, a concept unfamiliar to B.S., is that she lacks the virtue of honesty.  It is because Sarah Palin promotes herself as so holy that her deceit and lies are so offensive.

Earlier this month Michael Gross published the article entitled “The Sound and the Fury” which disclosed the results of a significant amount of research into the truth behind Palin.  Of course because the article was non-fiction, Palin herself did not contribute to the article.  In this article Mr. Gross reported that a friend of the family, who refused to be named, said:

“This whole hunter thing, for Sarah? That is the biggest fallacy…That woman has never hunted. The picture of her with the caribou she says she shot? She got out of the R.V. to pose for a picture. She never helps with the fishing either. It’s all a joke…When Greta Van Susteren came to the house to interview Palin “[Sarah] cooked moose chili and whatnot. Todd was calling everyone he knew the day before—‘Do you got any.”

The report by this anonymous source is completely consistent with the report Levi Johnston made one year ago.  Levi explained that:

“Sarah Palin has said she’s a hockey mom and a hunter, but that’s really not the case. … People think that Sarah likes hunting, fishing, and camping, but she doesn’t. She says she goes hunting and lives off animal meat—I’ve never seen it. I’ve never seen her touch a fishing pole. She had a gun in her bedroom and one day she asked me to show her how to shoot it. I asked her what kind of gun it was, and she said she didn’t know, because it was in a box under her bed.

From the moment Sarah Palin hit the national stage she was advertised as a “lifelong member of the National Rifle Association” and a “keen hunter” whose favorite meal was “moose-burgers.”  Since that time B.S. has repeatedly promoted her image as a hunter.  In her national bestselling book, Going Rogue, Palin devoted an entire page to colorful images of her hunting and fishing exploits (Palin 146). In the caption of one of the pictures B.S. describes the scene, explaining that she is about to “field dress” the caribou that “I just shot.”  Whether Palin is a hunter or fisherwoman, is irrelevant to her intellect and her experience as a politician.  However if she is not a hunter, Sarah Palin has deceived everyone who has bought her book, listened to one of her speeches, or read an article about the woman she purports to be.  Because B.S. has chosen to describe herself as a keen hunter, whether she is in fact a hunter has everything to do with truth and honesty.  People who worship Palin do so because she is a “real person” and one in whom they can believe.  Now we know that she is not worthy of that trust.

Instead of asserting that anything in the article by Mr. Gross was factually incorrect, Palin lodged personal attacks against Mr. Gross.  Palin declared in an interview on Fox “News” with Sean Hannity that Mr. Gross was “impotent, limp, and gutless”.   Having listened to this interview I was offended by Palin’s personal attacks on Mr. Gross and her reference to “yellow journalism.”   Even though I have never met, or spoken to Mr. Gross, I assumed that he would not write such a story without a factual basis.  If for no reason, other than fear of a libel suit, I assumed that Mr. Gross was simply reporting what he had been told by people who knew B.S.  Having watched the interview on CNN of Mr. Gross, I was convinced that Gross was not “mean-spirited” but simply reporting the information conveyed to him.   The only person “mean spirited” or engaging in personal attacks was Sarah Palin.

On Monday, September 13, 2010 Palin was in Kansas City giving another speech.  It was the specific comments in that speech that alerted me to the deception that Palin has promoted throughout the last two years.  She mentioned that she had “recently gone hunting in Alaska, and still had caribou blood under her fingernails.  Furthering the deception, Palin said “We eat, therefore we hunt.” The idea that B.S. would appear for a speech with her hair and make-up done, with blood under her beautifully manicured nails, was too hard to believe.  B.S. had gone too far!  Palin was either lying when she made this comment, or she was announcing from her podium that she had violated Alaska’s hunting laws.  A casual observer would assume B.S. was smart enough to be alert to violation of the Alaska hunting laws after the controversy surrounding Troopergate, and Mike Wooten’s disclosure that he shot a moose out of season. A casual observer would be in error to make that assumption.

Here are the facts that I have been able to document from my home in Dallas, Texas, with the use of my computer and telephone.  The most important information, regarding the lack of a hunting license came directly from a representative of the Alaska Fish and Game Department.

1.  On Saturday, Aug. 28^th Sarah Palin was with Glenn Beck at the Restoring Honor Rally in Washington D.C.

2.  On Saturday, Aug. 28^th the Alaska Fish and Game Department announced that it would close the Fortymile caribou herd hunt after a single day. The reason for the decision to close the hunt after one day was that last year in just three days, hunters killed 870 caribou.  Given the declining numbers of caribou, the Alaskan Fish and Game Department announced that hunting of caribou would cease at 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, Aug. 29^th.

3.  The distance between Washington D.C. and Anchorage Alaska is 3369 miles. Even a direct flight, with no delays would take 7 hours and 30 minutes.  It seems reasonable to presume that Sarah Palin didn’t travel from Washington D.C. on Sunday Aug. 29^th for 7 and one-half hours, drive to Wasilla, and then go caribou hunting in what was left of her day on Sunday.  If she hunted after that day, it would have been in violation of the prohibitions enacted by the Alaska Fish and Game Department.  What we do know is that she gave an interview to Fox “News” the evening of Aug. 31, 2010 wearing a pink suit.  There was no indication from that interview that she had been out hunting or that she had encountered any difficulty removing any caribou blood from her hands, face, or body.

4.  According to the Alaska Fish and Game Department, as of September 16, 2010 there was no record of a hunting license for Sarah Palin.

5.  Upon further inquiry I was advised by the person employed with the Alaska Fish and Game Department that Sarah Palin had not held a license for 2008 or 2009.

6.  Because the Alaska Fish and Game Department is committed to protecting animals that might be hunted in the state, the number of hunters allowed to hunt during the designated season (even if it is only one day long) is limited.  Because there are often many more hunters than animals, the Fish and Game Department holds a lottery to determine which hunters will be allowed to hunt.  This lottery is held in November and December of the year prior to the August season in which the hunters are allowed to hunt.  Thus the lottery to determine which hunters would be allowed to hunt in August of 2010 would have been determined by lottery at the end of 2009.

7.  In order to be registered for the lottery, a hunter would be required to have a license to hunt in Alaska.  Thus, because Sarah Palin did not have a license to hunt in 2009, she could not have participated in the lottery, and thus would not have been allowed to hunt caribou at any time during 2010.

8.  In searching the internet for the pictures of Sarah Palin hunting, the only pictures I can find are pictures of Palin with dead animals, but she is not holding a gun or knife and there is no blood on her hands.

Only two possibilities exist.  Either Palin lied in Kansas when she said she had been hunting caribou in Alaska and had blood under her fingernails, or Palin hunted in violation of Alaska law, and without a license.  In either case, Palin is dishonest

Adolf Hitler said that if you are going to lie:

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.”  Palin told a big lie.  It was simple.  We have heard about her hunting for two years.  People believe that she is a hunter.  Maybe Palin’s new book should have one of these titles:

• Hitler was Right
• The Virtues of Lying
• You Can Fool Most of the People, Most of the Time
• I’m O.K., You’re O.K., but I’m a Liar, and You’re a Fool
• If You Don’t Like the Message, Attack the Messenger
• Lying is the Secret to Success
• The First $12 Million is Easy for Quitters and Liars
• America by Lies: Refudiation of the Importance of Truth
• I Talk to God, But He Doesn’t Believe Me
• That Dog Don’t Hunt