Sarah Explains: “The Devil Made Me Do It!”

 

We know about conversations B.S. (Beautiful Sarah) has had with God.  Palin made a “D” in foreign language but she seems to be fluent in the language of “God”.  http://gawker.com/5061283/sarah-palins-high+school-grades  Some people hear voices and report confusion about who is speaking.  Not Sarah.  She has heard God’s voice enough to recognize his accent and inflection.  God and Sarah are on a first-name basis.  She calls him “Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father” (Going Rogue at 187) and He has given her the nick-name, “B.S.”  Until recently, B.S. had only reported hearing from one divine being.  Maybe there were others she talked with, but none who’s language she spoke, or none whose name was profitable to mention.  Recently B.S. reported hearing from the Holy Spirit, although he must have been suffering from bronchitis, as he could only whisper. www.kansascity.com/…/palin-puts-personal-spin-on-abortion.html.  As far as we know the Holy Spirit never wrote a letter confirming his true identity. Moreover, recent revelations indicate that the whispering voice may not have been the Holy Spirit.  It is just possible that it was in fact the DEVIL.   The devil is a supernatural entity and the enemy of God, so we could reasonably anticipate that he would interfere with God’s Plan.  The Devil is commonly associated with heretics, infidels and witches.  Palin has been associated, and even endorsed, witches like Christine O’Donnell.  Some regard the Devil as a representative of free will, wisdom, and enlightenment.   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil.  Just yesterday we learned about the congratulatory message of B.S. to people advocating “free will”. https://malialitman.wordpress.com/2010/10/01/the-sisterhood-of-clueless-mothers.

For two years scientists have been working night and day to solve the mystery of what compels B.S. say and do things that appear to be contrary to reason.  The Church of Satan, with the help of Christine O’Donnell, has conducted a séance to consult with the premiere authority on the devil.  Flip Wilson, the consummate authority on the influence of the devil, dedicated his career to explaining to people about the influence of the devil.  He often explained “The Devil Made Me Do It.”   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SLifea3NHQ.  

B.S. is too young to remember Flip Wilson.  However with O’Donnell’s help, B.S. has gained a healthy respect for the evil that might be perpetrated by the devil.  The devil has no compunction about lying.  For the devil to be intentionally deceitful is not surprising.  B.S. has demonstrated her difficulty with differentiating the truth from lies even when she is talking.  If she doesn’t perceive that she herself is a liar, it would be totally unfair to expect that she could possibly know when a spirit is being untruthful.  She can’t even see the look on their faces when they talk to her.  Now that we understand that the devil made her “do it,” everything makes sense.

• God recognized B.S. needed a prop or trophy and gave her Trig.  The devil made her abandon him.
• God gave us turkeys to eat at Thanksgiving.  The devil caused their heads to be removed on national television.
• God caused John McCain to nominate B.S. as his VP running mate.  The devil made them loose.
• God created us with the desire to have sex before marriage.  The devil made Levi run out of condoms.
• God gave B.S. the power to speak.  The devil gave the American people Katie Couric.
• God made the Iraq war a “task from God”.  The devil hid the WMD.
• God ensured that B.S. would have beautiful clothes that she could wear during the campaign.  The devil caused them to disappear when the representative of the Republican Party came to collect them.
• God filled cans with food.  The devil made B.S. throw them at Todd.
• God gave B.S. the power to fire Walt Monegan.  The devil caused the Alaska Legislative Council to determine that B.S. acted unethically in firing him.
• God caused people to vote for B.S. for Governor of Alaska.  The devil told her to quit.
• God introduced B.S. to Glenn Beck.  The devil caused them both to promote lies.
• God told B.S. to kill all of his creatures.  The devil made her forget to get a hunting license.
• God told B.S. to build a hockey center.  The devil caused the judge to determine that the owner of the land where the hockey center was built,  was the owner of the land.
• God created man.  The devil made dinosaurs to eat them.
• God caused Ronald Reagan to become the Governor of California.  The devil caused him to attend college in Illinois.
• God caused people to pay B.S. $100,000.00 per speech.  The devil made students go into a dumpster to retrieve the contract.
• God made it possible for polar bears to swim.  The devil made them swim to find a home.
• God gave us soldiers to protect our country.  The devil made some of them gay. 
• God gave B.S. a friend named Todd.  The devil made him get her pregnant before she was married.
• God gave B.S. a science teacher for a father.  The devil caused him to give her eyeballs as a gift.
• God told B.S. to drill for oil.  The devil caused her to blame environmentalists for the Gulf Oil spill.
• God gave us Esther.  The devil gave us B.S.