Glenn Beck Imparts His Wisdom to Sarah Palin

Glenn Beck has insight and wisdom that most of us don’t appreciate. Beck said that “Hurricane Irene is a blessing” and that it is God’s way of telling you “you are not in control.”  Most people would think that the loss of power in over a million homes would not be ideal. They don’t realize that this is a way to save energy. Children were killed from falling trees in North Carolina.. While that might seem tragic to you and me, Beck realizes what we hadn’t thought about. The parents of those children will be able to avoid the painful expense of college tuition that is the natural consequence of the loss of their children.

Sarah Palin could learn valuable lessons from her friend Glenn Beck, the one she wrote about in Time Magazine. Remember, Glenn Beck is the one Palin so aptly described as “America’s professor of common sense” and an “inspiring patriot.” If Palin took time out of her busy tour of Iowa to listen to Beck she could improve her world view. She might not need to talk to God so much, as Glenn Beck already has the wisdom to see that:

 

1. It is really a good thing that Bristol had a child out of wedlock. Because of the notoriety of Bristol as a teenage mother she has become a dancing phenomenon, has a new elongated chin, and she doesn’t have to become a professional camper.

2. It is really a good thing that Sarah and John lost the election of 2008, because now Sarah can run for President, and if John had won he’d be running for re-election, and she’d have to wait another 4 years.

3. It’s really a good thing that Sarah confused American history by saying that Paul Revere warned the British that the Americans were coming, because it improved Sarah’s chance of meeting Margaret Thatcher.

4. Hurricane Katrina was really a blessing for many Americans as they got a break from their routines, they got extra time off from their jobs, and they were able to vacation to new destinations at the expense of the government.

5.  People think that Joplin Missouri suffered a catastrophe when 116 people were killed by the deadliest tornado to ever hit American soil since the National Weather Service began keeping records 61 years ago.  It was a blessing in disguise because it helped the unemployment rate in Joplin by both creating new jobs, and eliminating people who were unemployed.

6. Children learn by example. It was fortunate that Diana took her child with her while burglarizing a house. Diana’s little girl didn’t know what she wanted to do for a living until she went with her mother to work for career day.

7. Kids learn by doing. When Willow vandalized a house, and avoided being charged with any crime, she learned a valuable lesson. Willow learned which members of the Anchorage Police Department she can count on.

8. It was actually a good thing that Sarah Palin violated the trademark law by using the name “One Nation” on her bus tour, as she wanted to get a new bus wrap anyway.

9. It was actually a good thing that Sarah looked horrible at the motorcycle rally, as it helped the image of Palin as a “real person.” Real people don’t wear hair pieces under their motorcycle helmets.

10. Most people think that the entry of Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann in the Presidential race would be a bad thing for Sarah Palin. However it was actually a blessing because it helped people realize that Sarah Palin is not the only ignorant and corrupt politician running for the highest office in the country.

11. When the National Enquirer broke the story of Todd Palin hanging out with prostitutes, it was actually a good thing for Sarah Palin, because it was God’s way of telling her “you are not in control.”

12. When Trig’s babysitter quit, it was actually a blessing in disguise. It forced Trig to realize that dependency should never be a way of life.

13. As Sarah Palin plans to announce her candidacy for President, she is having to face the reality that she will suffer a temporary loss of income from Fox. The blessing in disguise is that this way she will not be fired from Fox for saying such stupid things.

14. If Sarah should run for President and lose the election, the blessing is that when one door closes, another opens. Sarah Palin has made some valuable allies in North Korea, and she might be able to run for President there.