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In the spirit of Rush Limbaugh, who can make reference to liberals as “f’ing retards”, with little or no apology, I submit this e-mail. In effort to appeal to the “common sense” of everyone who might read this e-mail, please understand that I wrote this e-mail, it is completely fabricated and untrue.  Even though some politicians seem to take pride in telling untruths, I am not a politician, and thus desire full disclosure.    I am being deliberately sarcastic and irreverent. Todd never wrote this e-mail to Sarah.  It is a figment of my imagination. I am only imagining what Todd might say to Sarah, if they ever communicated. Since I am not sure if Sarah reads anything, I feel fairly secure that I will not offend her.  In conclusion, if you are one of the few Palin supporters who do read, STOP NOW! DO NOT READ FURTHER!

Dear Sarah:

It’s been a long time since you were home, so I thought I would send you an update on what’s going on around here.

That damn tax office continues to send me bills for property tax on the two cabins in the woods.  Should I continue to send the notices to Sean, or is there someone in the Governor’s office that wouldn’t be so high-profile who might take care of this problem?

The snow-mobile team has had some unexpected expenses, so we could use another sponsor.  Do you think you could do just one more commercial for the team?

I just heard that NPR is reporting that you have made $12,000,000.00 since quitting your position as Governor. F’ing A!!  Way to go Sarah!  I am so proud that I would like to find an appropriate way to express my appreciation.  In honor of your accomplishment, I have ordered a pink snowmobile for you, complete with your name engraved on the handlebars and a fur seat to keep you warm.  Who would have though that someone like me with just a high school diploma and you with the limited education could have made so much money?  The economy sure hasn’t been bad for us!

The lawyer in Diana’s burglary case got an agreement to postpone the sentencing part of the trial, but because burglary is a felony, she might be in the pen a long time, so make as much as you can as fast as you can.

Honey, I know you quit being the Governor when your approval ratings had dropped to an all time low of  54%.  Now I know it’s probably not true because your hair looked so good last week at the rally, but if you can believe anything the Washington Post reports, it seems the majority of the people around the entire country don’t like you any more.  Some  41% of people surveyed STRONGLY disapprove of you.  I think they are just ugly, jealous, idiots.

You were right to do the bowling convention in Las Vegas, because they will pay your fee, and I am worried it will be harder and harder to find people to pay you, especially when they know how much you have made in the last few months. Maybe while you are in Vegas,  you might get a list of conventions to be held there, so we can contact the organizers.  For some reason, they seem to like you in Las Vegas.

Oh, Pastor Muthee says that the reason you lost the election was that you didn’t pray hard enough.  I think he assumed, like so many others, that you cared about the people of Alaska.  Now he has seen the light, but he warned me that you should be careful of witches at this time of the year.  They tend to come out in the warm weather.  I know you have been on the road a lot so you couldn’t get to church, but maybe you could just write a letter to yourself in God’s voice, and tell yourself what God would want you to know.

I miss Levi’s cooking and this “stay-at-home dad” thing I agreed to during the campaign, is getting old.  How do you expect me to keep up that image when I am never at home?

Trig rode his tricycle on the Road to Nowhere yesterday, so if anyone says that this road was a total waste of taxpayer money, tell them they are wrong. Trig loved it! Although, I forgot to put a coat or hat on him and he got sick. You have been gone so long that when Trig woke up during the night with an ear infection, he called Bristol “mom”.

Speaking of Bristol, she is still without a boyfriend, so we can stick to the story that she is still a born again virgin, but  Alaska is experiencing double digit increase in teen birth rates. I was thinking you or Bristol might be prime candidates to do commercials for home pregnancy test kits.

Piper’s teacher is still saying that Piper is going to be held back a year in school because of all the school she has missed.  I reminded her you were the Governor, and she reminded me that you resigned.

I took Willow hunting in ANWR, and we killed all the caribou we could find, so hopefully there will no longer be anything for those tree huggers to complain about.  Besides who ever heard of a “refuge” for wild animals?

About caribou, I know you gave out teriyaki caribou jerky in New Orleans to all your friends, so if your supply is running low, don’t worry our curing shed is so full that we don’t have room for even one more carcass.

I can’t wait for you to get home. Your tanning bed looks so lonely without you. I even got you a welcome home present. I was at Wal-Mart the other day and their visors were on sale. I thought of you.  I am glad you are cost conscious, but you really don’t have to wear the one with John’s name marked out anymore.  I got you three; one that was green, one was purple, and the other had baby polar bears in the ocean with no place to climb out.

One last thing, I know you will be in Dallas the end of the month, so you might look up Malia Litman while you are there.  She wrote a book about you, so I know the two of you might enjoy hunting together, I think they do that a lot in Texas.  I bet you could show Malia how to field dress a cow.
Love,

The Stay-At-Home-Dad-First-Dude-Bristol-Bay-Fisherman-North-Slope–Worker-Iron Dog-Champion- Father –to-most-of-your-children,     Todd


The Palin family seems to have difficulty understanding the meaning of words, not words that might be unfamiliar to most adults, but words like “rogue” and “virgin”.  For example, “rogue” is defined in Webster’s Dictionary as “a wandering beggar or tramp; a vagabond…a rascal or scoundrel.”    Either Sarah doesn’t understand what that word means, or she was rather foolish to refer to herself by that word.  Bristol seems to have the same limitation, referring to herself as a “born-again-virgin.”  http://www.examiner.com/x-30616-LA-African-American-Conservative-Examiner~y2010m1d24-Bristol-Palin-is-now-a-born-again-Virgin.  Webster defines “virgin” as a young woman who has never had sexual intercourse.  Either Bristol has previously had sexual intercourse or her baby was the result of an immaculate conception.

Sarah Palin has just announced that she will be coming to Dallas in April to raise money for the purchase of a beautiful white colonial style house, complete with black shutters, which is featured on the website, Palin4Life.com.  I had the impression from the website that this home would provide a place for unwed mothers to live during their pregnancy.  However after great effort, I have learned that this organization does not even provide housing for teenagers who are pregnant, and certainly isn’t focused upon pregnant girls in Dallas of limited financial means.

Caroline Klein of the Downtown Pregnancy Center (the organization that Palin purports to benefit by her appearance at this dinner), confirms that the house is not intended to provide a place to live for ANY teenager who is pregnant.  The purported reason for the Uptown location is to meet the needs of Southern Methodist University (SMU) college students.  For those readers who don’t live in Dallas, SMU is located within Highland Park, which is home to some of Dallas’ wealthiest people.  The current facility run by the Downtown Pregnancy Center is not staffed by a medical doctor and the current facility does not provide contraceptive services or abortion services. Services it does provide consist only of pregnancy testing, sonograms, and they provide “counseling services” to pregnant teens regarding options of adoption, keeping the baby, and abortion, but they refuse to provide any reference to any clinics that perform abortions.

By limiting contraceptives and education regarding them, we are necessarily increasing the national debt by promoting dependent mothers and children.  Palin has made hundreds of thousands of dollars speaking to right-to-life organizations, yet her grandchild, the product of an unmarried teenage pregnancy, receives health care through public assistance. The hypocrisy of this gesture is enough to induce morning sickness.

Consider the fact that Texas teens lead the nation in having babies, as reported by the Dallas Morning News, Nov. 5th 2007.    Texas’ policy is to deny contraceptives without parental consent wherever possible and to push an abstinence-only sex education program.  Compare Texas to California where teen birth rate dropped by 47% during the same period where the state teaches abstinence, but also explains contraception at school, and provides birth control to teenagers free, without parental consent required.  Ibid.  The United States has one of the highest rates of unintended pregnancy in the industrialized world, which translates into over 3,000,000 unintended pregnancies each year.  http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/state_data/states/texas.html.  In Texas 18% of women aged 15-44 have incomes below the federal poverty level and 33% of women in this age group are uninsured.  Ibid. In 2005 a mere 464 publically funded family planning clinics in Texas provided contraceptive care to 540,620 women, including 138,050 sexually active teenagers.  Every public dollar spent on family planning services saves the federal government three dollars in Medicare costs for prenatal and newborn care.  Ibid.  Given the efforts Palin has devoted to talking about the federal deficit, it seems she would be in favor doing anything we can to limit the federal funds spent on Medicare.

The most appalling thing to me about this entire event is that Palin is obviously doing this for the publicity.  Yet Palin supporters seem to view her as a noble, virtuous, and the champion of the right to life movement.  The reality is dramatically different.  Palin herself was pregnant before she married.  Her oldest daughter had a baby as a teenager, had difficulty completing high school due to the pregnancy, and now lives with her parents, upon whom she and her child are dependent. Lynn Vincent, the ghost writer of Palin’s book, has publically admitted that she had an abortion.

Other observations and questions related to this event include:

1. You may purchase a Bronze seat for dinner at this fundraiser for $1000.00; Silver seating, dinner, attendance at the VIP reception, and receive a program listing for $10,000.00; Gold seating is $25,000 for two seats, the VIP reception, and program listing; and if you are either really wealthy, or very foolish, you can purchase 4 Platinum seats for $75,000.00.  Why wouldn’t you purchase two tickets separately and save $5000.00?  Do they just think the people paying for these tickets are just too stupid to figure out the best way to buy the ticket, or are those involved with organizing this event just not very adept at using a calculator?

2. Maybe Palin is coming back to Texas because she is pregnant again.  At least this time she will be on a private jet so if she gives birth on the plane the other passengers will be people she knows.

3. The website will only accommodate the purchase by one person of 30 $1000.00 tickets, 20 Silver or Gold tickets, and only a single Platinum ticket.  I think if you want to buy more than one Platinum ticket, it would only be fair that you be allowed to do so.

4. Robert Wilonsky of the Dallas Observer inquired about whether this organization was listed as a 501(c) (3) organization, and so far the organization is not listed on the IRS’s Publication 78 Web site.  See, www.dallasobserver.com.  I too called the IRS this morning, and consulted the IRS web site and there is currently no listing for a 503c (3) organization known as Palin4Life. Since Tom Leppert, the mayor, is going to introduce Palin, I consulted with the mayor’s office and “Ashley” with Mr. Leppert’s office didn’t know anything about the event.

Abortion is an emotional issue for many.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that if you want to prevent abortions and limit the national debt the best way to do both is to provide family planning services to teenagers.  The house for which Palin purports to be raising money doesn’t provide a place to live for pregnant teens, it doesn’t provide contraceptives, and it doesn’t provide referrals to girls who might want to opt for an abortion.  When so many teenage girls in Texas need help preventing unwanted pregnancies, and facilitating their independence, it seems a total waste of money to focus on buying a home to serve as a center for girls who attend SMU, and who probably already have the financial means to get the services they might need.

Bristol may have become a celebrity due to the notoriety of her mother. This is the 21st century. Ninety-five percent of people in the United States have pre-marital sex.  It is so common that it has been described as “universal”. http://www.guttmacher.org/media/nr/2006/12/19/index.html It’s time to accept that in the real world, there are no born-again-virgins.


Malia will not be on CBS News tonight, as they will be devoting their attention this evening to tonight’s winter weather in Dallas.

Be sure to tune in Thursday, February 18th to CBS News to see Malia!

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