Sarah Palin Condemns "Gun Panels"

The following is obviously satire, as we know that Sarah Palin has been misplaced. “Elites” think she is in Alaska, but Common Sense Conservatives know it’s cold in Alaska during the winter, and her Arizona home is much warmer. If she emerged this is what I think she might say…

“President Obama is doing something about gun control, and its got to be all about the 2nd Amendment, you see he is always trying to take away our rights, and we got to get those Washington elites out of the way, so when I say don’t retreat, reload, I mean just that, and what he’s trying to do is create Gun Panels to determine who can have a gun and who can’t, and I don’t want anyone telling my family who can have a gun, and who can’t, especially Trig, my special needs child, who was born in Anchorage, Mat Su General, and who, well look at him, he is a blessing from God, but he has a special condition that I’m told is called Downs Syndrome, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the same constitutional right to bear arms that you and I do, and when Paul Revere was ringing those bells and sounding those warning shots to warn the British that the President was about to take away our arms. When Trig was in my womb, and I was in labor on that airplane, I never dreamed that my child would one day be faced with possible restrictions on his rights to own a gun, which is a fundamental right of any American, God bless the service men in the country, and you never know when you might need an assault weapon with armor piercing bullets, which might be life changing if you came upon a Democrat on the street who said they were a neighborhood watch guard and thought you looked suspicious just because you looked a little different and shot you down with an assault weapon, and your body armor didn’t protect you because the shooter had armor piercing bullets and you had no chance to reload your weapon after you tried to shoot him and missed…several times. It’s no secret that I’m pro-life and the only way to protect that life is with a gun, and if you restrict my son’s right to bear arms, where will this insanity stop, and what member of the Washington elite has the cojones to stand up for the rights of the little guys, who love their freedom, and who from the time they were a zygote, had the right to bear arms, even if they didn’t have any arms or legs yet. I would suggest that Todd by confirmed as the head of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, but not Todd Jones, but my Todd Palin. He is better qualified that that Todd Jones picked by the President  who is limp, impotent, and a corrupt bastard, and my Todd isn’t, just ask Shailey Tripp, and the whole country knows it because he’s been on Stars Earn Stripes, he’s so familiar with alcohol that he’s been arrested for DWI, he knows how to smoke, he has lots of firearms, he knows how to blow up shit.”

Sarah, the clever ex-politician that she is, who appears not to have a job at Fox any longer, has been forced to come up with a new method for getting her message out. The above message will be sent by chain letter. Sarah will send the first two letters to Rick Perry,

and Ted Nugent.

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