“AJ” regularly leaves comments on the blog, and he has sent this piece to share with us.  Thanks “AJ” for sharing your thoughts about this!

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saint sarah time mag

Christians follow a New Bible that they wrote because yours wasn’t good enough (I stole that comment from Lewis Black). Sarah is the second coming of Mary the mother of Jesus, aka., The Blessed Virgin. Many Christian believe the Blessed Virgin was the only human born without original sin aka., The Immaculate Conception.

In the new millennium another mother, born without sin or faults (at least in her mind), was sent by God to fix all that is wrong in the world. This mother would be perfect like Mary and preach the word of God like Jesus. To reach a larger audience she experienced her own Christmas miracle, a new type of virgin birth.

Instead of the difficult task of wandering through the desert on a donkey, she had to fly commercial. For 10 hours she endured labor pains, leaking amniotic fluid, and no free alcoholic beverages. Luckily, her silent and obedient blue collar husband, a fisherman and snowmobile racer, guided her to the manger. It was a modern version of a manger, a small town hospital with no NICU for her pre-term son. In the little town of Wasilla the world learned of the Alaskan Christmas miracle, a woman who was not pregnant delivered a miracle child.

So that the world would not be confused about who was running the show, the miracle child was deaf, had poor vision, and Down syndrome. Sarah the Blessed Child Bearer would be carrying the miracle child, somewhat awkwardly, as she preached her gospel to the world. Like Jesus she was persecuted. Instead of physical torture, the ruling powers called her ignorant and criticized her hair and shoes. In 2008 she was put to death by the voters.

Like Jesus, Sarah had a friend who went to the political grave and found it empty. Greta Van Susteren proclaimed to the world “She is risen!” The Blessed Child Bearer was alive and preaching from her heavenly home. And now Blessed Sarah sends her Epistles from her heavenly studio whenever she sees that the world is getting too corrupt.

Sarah’s Apostles, now known as the Tea Party, continue to spread the word and be persecuted by the evil ones. They have dropped modern English as their first language and communicate in runoff sentences and unique spellings. They roam the shopping centers, strip malls, and book signings preaching the word of Sarah, repeating her sacred scriptures, shouting down the blasphemers. And in a 21st century upgrade, they pistols, rifles, and automatic weapons. No more shepherds’ staffs for these holy people.

So now that you have been educated on the Blessed Child Bearer, please do not ever suggest that she is imperfect.

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