After Mark and Bristol we eliminated from DWTS, Bristol hid in her room and let Mark Ballas deal with the hard questions from reporters. Perhaps Bristol was trying to figure out how she could say she was “Undefeated” even though she lost the competition.
Ballas discussed his suggestion that he wear a bunny suit, and explained that Bristol wasn’t willing to allow him to do that, given the embarrassing remarks she endured after she wore a monkey suit in the previous season. When Mark was asked about that decision he explained that “You can drag a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”
He didn’t offer any other comparisons between Bristol and a horse. He didn’t say:
1. Bristol was as graceful as a horse doing the fox-trot.
2. Horses aren’t too bright.
4. Horses don’t eat moose.
5. Bristol is a mare.
6. Horses love camping with a variety of other horses.
7. Horses don’t have trial marriages.
8. Once a mare has had a colt or filly, that mare never claims to be a “born again virgin.”
9. Horses don’t pretend to be pit bulls or barracudas.
10. Most riders prefer to ride a horse who hasn’t already been ridden a lot.
11. Horses protect their young and don’t care about using them to make money.
12. Horses don’t care what color their shoes are.
13. Horses usually know who their mothers are.
14. Horses usually become independent very quickly and don’t rely on their mothers for food and shelter after they are one year old.
15. Horses produce a lot of foul smelling excrement, that they drop everywhere they go, and the smell lingers for what seems like an eternity.
16. The anchorage police would like to ride horses, but so far Todd Palin hasn’t made them available in Alaska.