Given the sarcastic nature of some of the posts on this blog, you might think I am kidding about a genetic predisposition to being a liberal.  I am sarcastic, but I am not kidding!  Scientists have now attempted to study and identify a genetic pre-disposition to being a liberal and thus being offended by Sarah Palin.  The only trait or characteristic that scientists have identified to predict whether a person is a carrier for this “liberal gene” is whether you had a significant number of friends in your adolescent years.  http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2010/10/29/2010-10-29_sarahhating_may_be_genetic.html#ixzz13lEKGhnj.  Because we should believe everything we read, I now have new insight into my affliction with PDS(Palin Derangement Syndrome).  I understand why Palin is so offensive to me, that I would write two books, and create this blog.  I was born that way!  I have no control over the genetic make up with which I was born.  Because she has a “Servant’s Heart” I am sure that Sarah Palin will better understand that we can’t help ourselves!  It was God’s Plan that B.S. (Beautiful Sarah) would be offensive to many and he protected us by giving us the genetic tools to protect ourselves from B.S.  I am so appreciative that I wrote a letter to God thanking him for my genes.  I would encourage each of you to write your own thank you note and if you choose to make your note public, send me a copy.

Thank you Note to God:

Dear Creator:

My mother taught me to always send hand-written thank you notes to express my appreciation.  Of course you know I can only type this one because I’m not home, so I don’t have  my cute little pink notes available.  I’ll follow this one with a handwritten one, but it would help if you could give me an address and advise about the postage.

God, I now understand that I was born to be offended by B.S.  I now understand that the friends I had in High School were sent by you as a sign and indication that I would have the courage to be a liberal.  Self confidence is so important and I clearly must have enough to give me the courage to say what I feel.  It was my genes that caused me to marry a man I don’t throw cans at.  You blessed me with the genes to be smart enough to plan my family, not to get pregnant before I was married, and to be genetically attracted to a husband who had that liberal gene too.  I think his is recessive, and mine is dominant, but they are compatible.  Thank you for giving Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert the same liberal gene, as they provide welcome relief to me and to millions around the country.

You must be a vengeful God, as you failed to give B.S. or Todd that gene.  I don’t know what they did to incur you wrath, but I will do my best to say my prayers every night.  I know you have to power to change genes, so we must all be thankful for what we have, or it might be taken away.  An example of someone who lost that liberal gene is Christine O’Donnell.  I know she has admitted be a previous life of sex and booze, so her current state must have done something that would be deemed self-abuse.  Whether through radiation or self mutilation, she seems to have transformed her genetic makeup to be missing that liberal gene.  I didn’t think genes were something that people could  change, but now I understand that if we pray hard enough that change is possible.

Please God tell Sarah, the next time you talk to her, that if she prays hard enough she can change her genes too.  If she prays hard enough maybe she could get that liberal gene.  Think of what could be accomplished if she could add that liberal gene.  The list would include:

She’d quite talking.

She’d quite throwing cans.

She would wash her own underwear.

She would quit taking credit for shooting animals that she didn’t kill, or at least she’d get  a license.

She’d see her kids even when the cameras are not on.

She would stop writing on parts of her body.                       

She would begin to embrace the worth of strait straws.

She would stop taking credit for books she didn’t write.

She wouldn’t run for any political office since she knows she would ultimately resign.

She would begin to respect people of different religions, heritage, races, and sexual preferences.

She would begin to focus on the special needs of Trig.

She would quit talking about dikes.

She would stop inspiring hatred.

She would stop disparaging the President of the United States.

She would become a real feminist.

She might stop acting like she was an expert at anything, other than making money.

She would stop taking money from people who can’t afford to give her their money.

She would stop riding on private planes.

She would stop endorsing candidates who are witches, who committed armed robbery, or who outsourced thousands of U.S.  jobs.

She would attend the next Rally to Restore Sanity.

She would become part of the solutions to the many problems facing the country, instead of making the problems worse.

Thank you God for giving me a reason to be hopeful and to understand that I was born to blog.  Thank you for the liberal gene you gave me.  Thank you for the understanding that I was genetically engineered to be offended by B.S.  It’s good to know it was part of your plan. 

Your servant, Malia